Relationship Rescue Answers

I must say that going through a journal that I have not reviewed in years makes you look back at the abuse and think "Why was I so weak that I stayed in that environment!" I want to almost blame myself for it, but then I remember that abuse comes in cycles, and if you are not familiar with the cycles I encourage you to visit this link http://www.domesticviolence.org/cycle-of-violence/ . It is so easy to get sucked back in, so please do not beat yourself up. It took me years to finally leave.

**Below are answers that I wrote in my journal while reading Dr. Phils 'Relationship Rescue.' These are things that I thought maybe reading a relationship book could teach me ways to make my abuser well...stop abusing me!

*I believe that if he can forgive me for not being a virgin then things will get better

*It doesn't pay to be honest because he just goes psycho

*It helps when we have time apart or money to spend

*If only he respected me

*We never seem to get along and be happy or help eachother

*I deny the truth with him because of his reactions, and I fear the abuse and people not thinking I am a strong person because of what I have endured with him and I fear if my family knew it would hurt them.

*I feel lonely but I do not want to be, I want companionship

*I blame him for all of the problems in the relationship and feel that everything he put me through caused me to cheat on him (paybacks) and that now I can forgive him because he hurt me to for so long.

*He doesn't listen to me, I feel picked on and put down by him. I feel rage at times. He is so harsh in his criticism. I imagine being divorced. I know I am right. I want to hurt him sometimes. I would rather lie to him then deal with the potential problem. He is ashamed of me.

*Our sex life- He will initiate it every time and I do not want to, so because of that I just lie there. I have to give in to his wants because if I do not then he goes psycho on me. He tries to please me but every time he touches me I feel so dirty and never want to kiss him.

His good qualities- hard worker, good father, honest, tells it like it is, and nice smile